The reality of parenthood is an awakening like no other. You can have an appreciation of what it will entail but no one has the knowledge until you are in the trenches of it. The day I found out I was expecting my second child I was in shock. You ask yourself all the normal questions. “Am I ready for this?” and your conclusion is “How hard can one more be?”
Nine months and a pregnancy ridden with hyperemesis gravidarum with a dash of PPD and I realized my perception of parenting a second child was off by lightyears. With the help of my wonderful husband and his support I was able to take that leap into something that scared me to death.
I was able to overcome my fears and not be afraid of my imperfections. Those imperfections are what made me love my children immensely, they made me the mother that they love dearly.
I learned to let go of the picture of perfection I had in my mind. Its so easy to get wrapped up in the social media image of parenthood. I don’t have everything together(like most parents) I realize that what we see posted is a carefully curated magazine of your life. There are more people like me out there who don’t have it all together. Parenthood is different for everyone, it’s not a one size fit all. I realize this now as I have entered into my second year of parenting two. I choose to just keep moving and love my children immensely because at the end of the day that is all we can do.
Deciding to stay in MI surrounded by our friends and family and all that we knew or moving to FL with no one we knew or any job prospects. This was a decision my husband and I had to make in less than a month. why only a month? Because we had enough money to either pay rent in MI or put it towards a new life in FL.To say we were nervous was an UNDERSTATEMENT. My husband and I joked that if we became homeless we would rather live next to the beach then endure the rough winters in MI. So we packed up and moved. Best decision ever! It’s been five yrs and even though we miss our friends and family we are happy for the courage that god gave us and the support we gave each other.
Fast forward a few yrs and like most couples we decided we wanted to start a family of our own. After a miscarriage I was informed that sometimes this happens and people go on to conceive healthy babies. After three yrs of trying I finally decided to seek medical treatment. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to hear you can’t have children. I waited until I had the courage to hear those words. I decided two days before our 7yr anniversary cruise was the best time for a doctors appointment. Hey if it was bad news I was on a cruise and you can’t be mad on a cruise. If it was good news hey, I WAS ON A CRUISE lol
I was told I would have difficulty getting pregnant because of PCOS and I could start infertility meds. I decided I would wait until after my vacation. Again my husband and I prayed for courage. After the loss of our first baby and trying desperately to conceive for three yrs we again leaned on each other and god for courage and strength. Nine months later(without medical intervention to conceive) we welcomed our beautiful baby boy Alexander. We were overwhelmed with joy the first thing I said to my son was “hey little man. I’ve waited three years to meet you and you are better than what I imagined”
Courage is defined in two ways 1. The ability to do something that frightens one and 2. Strength in the face of pain or grief. You can say those two life events have prepared us for the biggest adventure yet… Parenthood.
I truly believed I was ready and I KNEW what type of parent I would be. Boy was I wrong! If you would have told me I would be a baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping type of parent I would have laughed in your face. But it takes courage to admit I WAS WRONG. This is the way I’ve chosen to parent this beautiful blessing(it doesn’t mean you’re way is wrong) but I’ve learned that each family must decide what parenting style works for them and do it no matter what others may think. Sure I get looks when I tell people I co sleep. Or if I’m in the store baby wearing my son(who looks the size of a toddler lol) but I know I’m doing what’s best for him and our family.
In the past seven months we have had the joy of being parents to the cutest, funniest,inquisitive, adventurous little human on the planet. Where our parenthood journey will lead us we don’t know. One thing I know for sure is our family has the courage and love needed to endure whatever comes our way.