Say Their Name

So I have to get something off my chest. It has really been hurting my heart. There have been numerous loss of life of POC(people of color) lately, I’m sure you have noticed. So much so that the hashtag #blacklivesmatter was created. (I am NOT going to get into a debate of why #alllivesmatter shouldn’t be the hashtag, if you want to know why that is problematic then please read one of the MANY article on the internet about it. you can start by reading this one here )

Many people don’t speak up when they see this kind of loss, maybe it’s because you feel uncomfortable and don’t know how to approach the situation. Some feel when you acknowledge the differences we have that it just keep racism alive. To the contrary, when you discuss these differences you open a dialog and it helps heal. It helps you gain knowledge that it is STILL happening and It helps you make necessary changes to make it not happen as often.

When you take a colorblind stance to things it doesn’t help. It’s obvious that my LOVE knows no color, I married a man who is of polish and irish decent aka WHITE however we BOTH know that racism exist and it would be horrible for us not to speak about it so that we know how we as a couple(and now a family of three) will deal with it.We can teach or son how he handles WHEN it comes up.

It seems like whenever a new hashtag of any POC shows up all of a sudden a new “story ” is thrown in the mix to pull attention away from the real issues, It’s like the news straight up say’s “I’m going to let you finish POC but…..( Just look at the Rachel Dolzel and Cecil the Lion story to name a few) both situations are horrible but the real discussion should be how disenfranchised groups of people can’t have basic human rights that many non POC enjoy. What rights you may ask? Have you ever been asked if you’re the Nanny of your child? Have you been followed around a store? Do you think “Oh I can’t go to that vacation spot because I may have to pass through a town that doesn’t like my skin color?” Have you even been told that the way you hair NATURALLY grows out of your head is UNPROFESSIONAL? These are just A FEW instances that I have had to deal with.There are many more that POC can write as well.

As a POC I wake up everyday and it’s pointed out to me that I am a black woman. I went to the mall and was going to purchase something for stress relief and the salesman pitch was something like we all have stress thanks to our jobs and the workplace. I stated that I don’t have a 9-5 that I am a SAHM and his response was “Why don’t you work? You have to take care of your kid right? UMMMM EXCUSE ME!!!! My husband has a GREAT paying job and that’s how I take care of my family. I am juts so tired of defending myself. “Wow ,you must be happy about your sons complexion?”, “You don’t like fried chicken?” “you sound so white?” “you like alternative music?”

The inflection at the end of the questions just sting every single time. It’s like they are surprised..why? All these Microagressions that I deal with are just tiring and this is just a glimpse of my life as a POC.

Going back to the headlines that take away your attention from the real issues. Lets talk about this Cecil the Lion business. I am VERY sad that it happened. Killing for sport is DISGUSTING!! But people are ALL up in arm about this. so much so that the practice of the dentist that killed the lion got SHUT DOWN.

These post I saw explains it better than I can:

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You know I have days that are bad and I want to break down but my faith in the promised spiritual government that is brought out in Matthew 6:9,10 gives me hope and I have faith that will cure-all these problems we see and injustices.

I am a firm believer in the hope that the bible give. Jeremiah 10:23 says: “I well know, O Jehovah, that man’s way does not belong to him.It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step.” It’s because of that scripture that I know there is no way that racism and injustices will be eradicated completely without the help of Jehovah and his son Jesus. 

If you don’t take anything away from this post, PLEASE just take this and think about it: I know that when you KNOW better you DO better. So we can all make an effort as individuals to really check the way that we treat people and how we speak and do things. I know that it’s hard,the sad thing is that white supremacy is so ingrained in the world that many people don’t realize it and it’s just seems normal. If you have privilege acknowledge it (MTV did a great documentary called White People. You can see it here) We may not have the power to change the thoughts and actions of everyone but we can try and change the way we think individually. How you ask, by discussing what is happening, by changing the way we view each other, by not using those microagressions, by saying the names of the victims that have been lost(Emmanuel Nine:Clementa Pinckney,Cynthia Hurd,Sharonda Coleman-Singleton,Tywanza Sanders,Ethel Lance,Susie Jackson,Depayne Middleton Doctor,Daniel Simmons and Myra Thompson. Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, to name a few)and realizing that it could be someone close to you or even YOU. I’m tired of seeing people’s names as hashtags.

I don’t want this post to make you look at the world and see no good. There are good people. If you don’t believe in god or his heavenly government that is your personal choice. I however have faith that the promise told to us at Psalms 37:10,11 will come true and that is what helps give me strength to go on everyday.

“Just a little while longer, and the wicked will be no more;You will look at where they were,And they will not be there. But the meek will possess the earth,And they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”

Amazon Prime Day

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If you have been living under a rock, chances are that you have heard about al the hype surrounding prime day that started July 15th at 12 am. When I saw the banner I KNEW it would be mediocre at best! This was a GREAT marketing ploy. As soon as I saw they used the saying More deals than black friday, i knew they were biting of more than they can choose. I mean this is the FIRST prime day.

I was already a prime member. I have been for two years now. I LOVE prime. That two day shipping is all I need. The photo cloud that I can upload all my phone photos too, the movie, the music that is all a bonus and not the reason I signed up for prime.

I feel like they should have just advertised signing up for prime would give you SAME DAY shipping or even ONE day shipping(which it already does in some areas) that would get people running to sign up for prime. At least those that of us who love to online shop.

I didn’t have anything in mind that I wanted to purchase but my curiosity got the best of me. I logged in to see what deals they had.

Amazon Prime day had me looking like this

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Seriously Amazon? they had a hodgepodge of products all lined up on the screen together

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I was in shock at the nonsense that I was seeing, not by the prices and the money I would be saving.

They way that it was done was weird as well. The deals had a countdown to when they would be available, you could “hold” a product and of it was “sold out” then you could get on a wait list for that product. However, even the wait list had a limit. I understand that May be smart move for you not to oversale any of the products but I was juts not feeling it at all.

Amazon nice try but I am a little disappointed that you tried to sale me leftovers from the warehouse and tried to make me think it was a great deal lol

One of my favorite bloggers Awesomely Luvvie said it best:

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Side note: You NEED to follow Luvvie on Facebook. She has me in TEARS everyday.

It’s called SELFesteem

I have noticed that I usually get the same backhanded compliment: “You are so confident, how is it that you can be so confident at your size?”

I usually end up looking at them like this:

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Excuse me? How is that a complement? I am confident because I learned to love myself and because of that, I don’t need anyone or anything to validate me. I haven’t always been this way. I didn’t love myself or know my worth when I was younger. I was always a people pleaser, I wanted to make sure everyone else was taken care of before I was.

Now these are good qualities to have but you MUST remember that in order for you to be at your best for anyone you have to be at your best for your self first. I am not advocating that you should become selfish, no I am simply stating that it’s important to know your limits and it’s ok to say no to things.

I am also saying that it’s so important for you to love the way you look flaws and all. If YOU want to make changes for yourself then great but don’t let anything that anyone else has to say about you change how you view yourself. Being happy with yourself is what will help you make and keep healthy relationships for the rest of your life. You won’t be chasing after happiness because it will come from within.

When you are happy with yourself then confidence will exude from every fiber of your being. I am not saying that I don’t have my moments of insecurities. I do, as a matter of fact when I saw this pic the FIRST thing I noticed was my size and the “back rolls”

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I wasn’t paying attention to the beautiful sights in front of me, or the fact that I have a child to share this with, a husband who admired this so much he took a photo of it. I was actually not going to post this pic on my blog, but then I SNAPPED out of it, I said “Not today satan!” I know there may be others who also see those flaws that I see in myself but I KNOW that is not what defines me. I love myself and I know that its detrimental to my feelings if I stayed in that mind-set. So I turned the negative thoughts into positive ones and look at what this picture has to offer.

That is the key to confidence, don’t dwell in those negative feelings, it’s ok to have them, we are imperfect so we will have them from time to time. You just need to tell your self that you are loved and that there are so many things to be positive about.

 

Oh the places we will go

I can remember before my son came along how incredibly easy it was when my husband and I would travel when we wanted to leave the house. You take for granted not having to wake up 2-3hours before you have to leave just so you can make it somewhere on time.

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so glad that we hat eight wonderful years of traveling, going out on he town, sleeping in, last-minute trips and date nights alone every week. Even though it takes us a little longer to get places traveling as a family of three has been some of the best times. Being able to witness my son and husband seeing NYC for the first time, experiencing time square and the look of awe in my sons face makes the nights we went to bed early in the city worth it.

Visiting Disney for the first time and the impromptu trips we have taken since then take my breath away. The look of splendor that comes across my sons face as he sees Buzz Lightyear(from a distance, he is not cool with how life-size he is lol) sends a big smile across my face. I feel like a kid again.

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It doesn’t even have to be a getaway or vacation for me to enjoy our time together. the simple act of going to the park or target means a nice afternoon of exploring and hearing you squeal with delight as you discover something new

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I will say that the most difficult venture that we have taken is the one to MommyCon Orlando. You wanted to see your dad and it didn’t matter that mommy waited since October to attend. Some would day I need to teach you to go with my the flow of MY schedule. I am your mother though and I could tell you were uncomfortable. You cried most of the way home and when you saw our street you yelled out “papa here!” When we got home you ran to your father and clung to his side the entire day. Even though I was disappointed in missing mommy con, I was so elated that you love your father that much and that he is here to spend time with you and smother you with love.

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There are so many places that I want to travel with you and I can’t wait to see what journey life will take us on. I am so glad to have you and your father as my traveling buddies. Oh the places we will go…

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Come on mom, where have places to go

 

I have a Super Power

This past weekend my family and I attended a bible educational assembly. We took our lunch break and I wanted to take a pic with my son outside. As soon as I saw the pic on my phone I realized that I had taken that pic before. I told my husband that I have this superpower that I can recall when a pic has a similar look.

He laughed but when I showed him my photographic evidence he said you have a gift lol. I LOVE to take pictures so when I find some that are similar and they have been taken some time apart it just gives me the biggest smile ever. This may not be a real superpower but it is something that I think is pretty awesome. Below are some examples of what I am talking about.

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Left: This past weekend Right: Dec 2014

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Left: Newborn photo shoot Right: Random pool day over a yr later

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Left: our wedding day Right: Maternity shoot 8 yrs later. Both of these were candid moments taken from two different photographers

So what are some of your “superpowers?”