I have noticed that I usually get the same backhanded compliment: “You are so confident, how is it that you can be so confident at your size?”
I usually end up looking at them like this:
Excuse me? How is that a complement? I am confident because I learned to love myself and because of that, I don’t need anyone or anything to validate me. I haven’t always been this way. I didn’t love myself or know my worth when I was younger. I was always a people pleaser, I wanted to make sure everyone else was taken care of before I was.
Now these are good qualities to have but you MUST remember that in order for you to be at your best for anyone you have to be at your best for your self first. I am not advocating that you should become selfish, no I am simply stating that it’s important to know your limits and it’s ok to say no to things.
I am also saying that it’s so important for you to love the way you look flaws and all. If YOU want to make changes for yourself then great but don’t let anything that anyone else has to say about you change how you view yourself. Being happy with yourself is what will help you make and keep healthy relationships for the rest of your life. You won’t be chasing after happiness because it will come from within.
When you are happy with yourself then confidence will exude from every fiber of your being. I am not saying that I don’t have my moments of insecurities. I do, as a matter of fact when I saw this pic the FIRST thing I noticed was my size and the “back rolls”
I wasn’t paying attention to the beautiful sights in front of me, or the fact that I have a child to share this with, a husband who admired this so much he took a photo of it. I was actually not going to post this pic on my blog, but then I SNAPPED out of it, I said “Not today satan!” I know there may be others who also see those flaws that I see in myself but I KNOW that is not what defines me. I love myself and I know that its detrimental to my feelings if I stayed in that mind-set. So I turned the negative thoughts into positive ones and look at what this picture has to offer.
That is the key to confidence, don’t dwell in those negative feelings, it’s ok to have them, we are imperfect so we will have them from time to time. You just need to tell your self that you are loved and that there are so many things to be positive about.