Finding Community

I’m not close to my mother, I never knew my father and my grandmother who I was VERY close to passed away when I was 17. My husband’s family and my extended family live 1,300 miles away from us. You know that saying it takes a village to raise a child. I was so scared that my husband and I didn’t have a village. Here we were expecting our first child and we had no one.

But I realized that we had been blessed with a congregation we had been apart of for five years. In that five years we made some close friends. Two in particular moved back to their hometowns of Boston and New Jersey before I became pregnant and when they heard of our new addition, without hesitation they began planning a baby shower to celebrate. Not only did they plan it from states away. They flew down and made sure that I felt the love that everyone dreams of having when welcoming a baby and celebrating with family.


I was so blessed to also have my friends that have been in my life celebrate. Some I’ve known almost my whole life and others I recently met.  Jehovah god had answered my prayers. I had a family!

Fast forward to when our baby was born and it was just my husband and myself. A great friend called to check on us and made sure my husband had food and she helped me laugh after each contraction. She also respected that we wanted it to be just my husband and I at the birth. And as quietly as she came into the room,she left as it was time for me to concentrate on getting this little one earth-side.Her and her husband came back the next day and brought us dinner. I also had a child hood friend drive six hours round trip just to spend the day with us and make sure everything was doing well. I will be forever grateful to them for that.


We all have insecurities as a parent, I no longer feel like I’m doing this on my own. First, I have my congregation that helps me. (Both the ones we left when we moved to another city and the new one we attend) I have really seen what Proverbs 18:24 states “but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”
There have been small “communities” that have helped me as well. To my BB girls thank you for helping me know I’m not alone.  We all had our babies in September and to have you follow along with me on this journey is great.
I don’t know where I would have been without the help of the mom group at the hospital I gave birth at. We’ve shared fears,tears and laughter and you ladies hold a special place in my heart. There is also the baby wearing community that I have met some GREAT women. All of you ladies inspire me to be a great woman and mother.

My son is surrounded by an eclectic melting pot of different personalities and backgrounds. Everyday I realize my community is growing more and more. I don’t ever need to feel lonely. Even though we come from different backgrounds we are all human,capable of love and helping out those in need.

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”
                                                                                                                                                                                    -Dorothy Day










Natural before it was a “Trend”…


I’ve been seeing this around the Internet,on shirts. It was also brought up at a natural hair Events that I’ve attended. Is it really important to divide all of the naturals into another category we already have SO MANY that we have to fight off?

To be honest I tried to become natural before it was a trend and there was not enough information or support out there and I was LOST! So I would transition for 6 months(didn’t realize that’s what I was doing) then I would give into the creamy crack. That cycle went on for 8 YEARS!! I am so glad that we have a plethora of information not only at our fingertips but we can ask questions when we meet a natural on the street.

It just hurts me to see that there is another thing out there that is dividing the natural community. I feel that when you say I’ve been natural before it was a trend it tries to minimize those who are just beginning their journey. It may not have been your intention but the words say that you are above what many have struggled to do. Maybe they just started transitioning or did the big chop because they didn’t realize there was another way. Or maybe they didn’t have the support they wanted. Or maybe they were scared to venture into the unknown. It doesn’t make their journey any less than those who have been natural for years.

I think the better way to let the world know that you have been natural for a long time is make a new shirt that says I’ve been natural for a while,got questions i got answers

Maybe then it will help to close the gap between the natural community.

I would love to hear how you my readers feel about this. Leave a comment