Yesterday May 14th was my due date for the baby I had lost in october. I am still grieving that loss even though I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby(Just like I still grieve the loss of my child I lost 10 yrs ago on what would be his/her due date each march)
The topic of grieving a child that you have never met seems to be so taboo and people don’t talk about it that often. It’s something that you just move on from, especially if you had an early miscarriage. However, the truth is that for many women the moment that see that pink line they become a mother. That line is filled with all kinds of hopes and dreams. “who will my child look like?” “what will their personality be?” “i can’t wait to meet them.” etc.
No matter when you loose that child a part of you always seems missing because you have dreams that you were dashed to pieces. Personally I find comfort in my faith I believe in a resurrection and I believe that I will see my children again some day. That doesn’t take about the grief I have now and how much I miss them.
I have had people tell me that they are happy I conceived so soon after my loss because I have a news baby to be excited about. That hurts so much because it insinuates that the baby I am carrying now will replace the one I lost and that is not true. I will always love and miss the baby I never was able to meet.
That being said, it seems cruel that I don’t have anything to remember my child by. You can imagine my excitment when I was scrolling through instagram one day and stumbled across a page called Rachelle Isims. This beautiful page was full of miscarriage jewelry and stories from mothers like me who were grieving and wanted something to remember their babies by.
I immediately went to visit Rachelle Isims Etsy shop and placed my order. I can not wait to see what my necklace looks like and I can’t wait to be able to talk about my babies that are here and who aren’t here when people ask me about my piece and what it means.
To all those who have lost a child I am sorry and know its ok to grieve and ok to talk about it. I am listening and so are your friends. You can still talk about your hopes and dreams and what that child means to you .