Kiera’s Labor and Delivery Story

IMG_8146I am part of the small population that HATES being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong I am in awe at what the body can do when creating life. I am however, not a great pregnant person. All four of my pregnancies I have had issues with being sick. If I had a easy pregnancy I am sure I would have more babies, but for now I am done with my two. On the bright side even though I have had rough pregnancies my labors have been amazing and short, I would have a baby over and over if I didn’t have to be pregnant to do so. Here is the story of how Kiera came into the world and made us a family of four.

My labor story began when I was 35 weeks. I didn’t have prodromal labor with my son so when I would get out my contraction counter and start timing my contractions, I would get excited to meet my baby girl. However, they would stop just as soon as they started to intensify. I went into the hospital at 37 weeks (got sent home) 38 weeks (sent home again). Wednesday August 17th at 8pm I was 38 weeks 6 days and my contractions started. I decided that I would time them and I didn’t get any sleep that entire night. I was bouncing on my birthing ball and getting really excited. My contractions were picking up. I went from every 9 min to every 5 min and then at 8am on Thursday August 18th they STOPPED!!!!

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Baby all hooked up (that 16 was my contraction so not very strong)

I felt so defeated. I was so over false labor and cried my eyes out all morning. I told my husband I was tired and done. At 2:30pm I told my husband that since I didn’t get any sleep the night before I needed to get a nap in. At 4:30 I woke up to intense pressure, but I attributed that to me having to pee. As soon as I stood up I felt my water break. (I knew it was my water because my water broke with my son) So here I am in disbelief because I was just crying about still being pregnant earlier. I called my husband and said “babe my water broke” We already had the bags packed. It was storming out and we got on the road at 5pm (Tampa bay traffic during rush hour is a MESS and I am so glad that it wasn’t too bad that day.) My hospital was 45min away and we met a friend to pick up our son and headed into triage to see if they would keep me (I knew they would).

I got to the hospital at 6:00 pm and was checked. I was admitted at 7pm and my contractions still weren’t picking up. I waited an hour before I started the pitocin. I had to use pitocin for my sons as well because my contractions wouldn’t pick up so I knew the drill. I started PIT at 8pm and by 9pm I was in so much pain I asked for an epidural.

Before Pitocin was to much. We were excited we were having a baby

Before Pitocin was too much. We were excited we were having a baby

Got the epidural at 9:30 and I was feeling great (I was only at 4pm so I still had a little ways before I could push.) We had some friends come and visit us and at about 11:00pm I told them I wanted to rest a little bit. They left and like 15 min later I told my husband I felt pressure and needed to push. Our nurse came in to check and she said I was ready to have a baby!!!!

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Friends who came to visit and make me laugh. and bless that peanut ball from getting me from             4cm to 10cm in like an hour.

My midwife who was suppose to deliver me was actually at another hospital delivering another baby. So they had to call her back up(who was actually the MD who delivered my son almost three yrs ago, so that was nice) She makes that drive all the time so she told the nurse she would be there in 12 min. It was about 11:40 at this time I was REALLY feeling the urge to push. The nurses set up the room and asks me not to push because there was no doctor there. So I just breathed through the contractions and focused on NOT pushing. My daughter had meconium in her water( that means baby pooped in utero so they make sure baby is not in distress when she comes out)

My OB made it there at about 12:05(she had a flat tire on the way there so that is what took her so long.) She literally walked in, put on her booties and a robe and told me to push when I was ready. 3 1/2 pushes(is what my husband said, I think it was 4) and Kiera Autumn made her way earth side. My husband had to quick cut her cord because they needed to make sure she didn’t aspirate any of the meconium. I didn’t cry like I didn’t with the birth of my son. I was content like I watched them check her out and when they brought her over to me for skin to skin time she immediately latched and began breastfeeding. That was such a magical moment for me. She and I were in tune and it felt like we were the only two in the world.

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Kiera was born at 12:15am on Friday August 19th. She weighed 7 lbs 8 oz and was 20 1/2 in long. My son was able to come later that day at 11:00am so he could meet his sister for the first time. He was not sure what to make of her lol

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Now that we are home he loves his little sister and she is exactly what we needed in our life. When I lost a baby in october of 2015 I never would have thought I would be blessed to find out I was expecting a month later. We are all so happy that Kiera is here and can’t wait to see her grow up. We will be uploading a birth vlog in the next few weeks so keep your eye out for that on my channel.

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The three loves of my life

Baby Registry – $100 credit towards diapers and wipes

25 week pregnancy update

I seriously can’t believe how fast this pregnancy is going by. Granted I have a toddler to chase after this time so that makes the time speed up. I am currently 26 weeks but I made this video when I was 25 weeks and nothing has really changed in that weeks time. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for following along with my journey.

Saying goodbye: Dealing with a Miscarriage

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Yesterday May 14th was my due date for the baby I had lost in october. I am still grieving that loss even though I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby(Just like I still grieve the loss of my child I lost 10 yrs ago on what would be his/her due date each march)

The topic of grieving a child that you have never met seems to be so taboo and people don’t talk about it that often. It’s something that you just move on from, especially if you had an early miscarriage. However, the truth is that for many women the moment that see that pink line they become a mother. That line is filled with all kinds of hopes and dreams. “who will my child look like?” “what will their personality be?” “i can’t wait to meet them.” etc.

No matter when you loose that child a part of you always seems missing because you have dreams that you were dashed to pieces. Personally I find comfort in my faith I believe in a resurrection and I believe that I will see my children again some day. That doesn’t take about the grief I have now and how much I miss them.

I have had people tell me that they are happy I conceived so soon after my loss because I have a news baby to be excited about. That hurts so much because it insinuates that the baby I am carrying now will replace the one I lost and that is not true. I will always love and miss the baby I never was able to meet.

That being said, it seems cruel that I don’t have anything to remember my child by. You can imagine my excitment when I was scrolling through instagram one day and stumbled across a page called Rachelle Isims. This beautiful page was full of miscarriage jewelry and stories from mothers like me who were grieving and wanted something to remember their babies by.

I immediately went to visit Rachelle Isims Etsy shop and placed my order. I can not wait to see what my necklace looks like and I can’t wait to be able to talk about my babies that are here and who aren’t here when people ask me about my piece and what it means.

example of some of the work from Rachelle Isms shop

                                example of some of the work from Rachelle Isms shop

To all those who have lost a child I am sorry and know its ok to grieve and ok to talk about it. I am listening and so are your friends. You can still talk about your hopes and dreams and what that child means to you .

 

Lil Kim is not the problem there is an even bigger one.

So over the weekend Lil Kim posted a pic to her IG and people went IN on her and he new looks. Now while you can search and see PLENTY of people calling her out, I am not one of those people.I honestly believe there is an even bigger issue here then her altering her looks.(which she seems to enjoy and more power to here) Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 2.09.33 PM

What I started to wonder was WHAT made her think that she needed to look like this to make herself feel beautiful? She herself has said she’s been cheated on, been told she isn’t beautiful and the men that left her went to someone with that European beauty. This made her think she was not good enough or beautiful enough the way she was.  This is one of the reasons I always say representation REALLY matters. We have to stop telling our beautiful black women that they are “cute for a dark skin girl” or put our light skin black women on a pedestal and make them feel as though they are “BETTER” than others because of their skin color.

The truth is that this is a HUGE problem in the world not only in the black community but everywhere.You can really see how deep systematic racism really is.  People have this assumption that lighter is better when its really our differences that make the world a beautiful place.

I’m not going to sit here and make fun of Lil Kim, I will say I was shocked when I saw this pic but like I said, it runs deeper than just a pic of someone who used plastic surgery and extensions to make themselves feel better. It’s about how society tries to push European standards as the beauty norm, oh they want FEATURES from women of color but just don’t want anything to do with ACTUAL women of color.

So instead of going to her IG page and trying to bring her down by telling her she isn’t beautiful or you miss the old kim, start by loving yourself, get therapy if needed for any deep issues you may have and treat others with kindness. Thats just my two cents on the matter

Life Update: Moving, Family and Announcement

It has been some time since I have written on my blog, I have missed you all and I bet you are ordering what has been going on with me. Well here is a Vlog I made recently to explain what has happened to me over the past few months. Hope you all have had an amazing 2016 so far.