Now I know I usually keep is “light” on my blog but this is something near and dear to me and I’m seeing too much of it lately on social media. By now everyone has heard about the complaints that have come up against Bill Cosby, at least fifty women have come forth with the “alleged” sexual abuse that he has committed against them. I have seen it all, pulling the race card even digging into these women’s past to try and “prove” they aren’t trustworthy. All this equates to VICTIM BLAMING!!! I don’t care what a women’s background is, what she wears etc if she is stating that someone sexually assaulted her we need to believe her(this also goes for males too, 1 in 71 are sexually abused)
“But what if they are lying?”
The FACTS don’t back up that logic:
Statistical studies indicate false reports make up TWO PERCENT OR LESS of the reported cases of sexual assault. This figure is approximately the same for other types of crimes. Only one out of 10 rapes are actually reported. Sexual Assault by someone the victim knows are the least likely to be reported.(info from Roger Williams University)
Two percent or less! So that myth just goes right out the window. Many abusers attack those who look “weak” ones that people wouldn’t believe because of their past and obviously it is working because I’ve seen so many sexual abuse victims drug through the mud and back.
Let’s talk about the race card. “People are only picking on Bill Cosby because he’s black”
nope nope nope! People are picking on Bill Cosby because he’s a SEXUAL ABUSER. People need to disconnect Dr. Huxtable from Bill Cosby. Dr. Huxtable may be the father of the year but he is FICTION. The real man behind him has already admitted to drugging a woman to have sexual relations with her.
People also try to throw in Stephen Collins(the dad from 7th heaven) and how he sexually abused children and his show is not canceled. And no one speaks about him. Well, first let me say this, Victims of sexual abuse have their identity protected. (That’s what was so shocking about the whole Duggar situation, those poor victims had to relive all that pain because someone leaked their names)
Stephen Collins has said that he was in a relationship with ONE underage girl. I’m not condoning that at all!! He is a GROWN man and should be ashamed but you know who he sound like…. A MR. R. Kelly who was married to a 15 yr old Aaliyah at one point and “allegedly” abused a different 15 yr old later ON FILM. But not only do folks continue to buy his music they gave this man a STANDING OVATION at an awards show….but PLEASE let’s continue to play the race card.
Now some may ask themselves why these 50 women(or any victim for that matter) would come forward after the statute of limitations have passed. I’ll speak about a personal experience for this one.
When you’re a victim you usually are abused by someone who holds power of you, you’re scared into silence. You’re worried how people will judge you(did you “dress like you wanted it” did you fight back, what does you’re character say about you Etc) it take some people a LONG time to work through what has happened to them and when you say it out loud it frees you from the grip that your abuser had over you. Once its out in the open it’s no longer a secret and you can truly begin to heal. I spoke out about abuse that I endured and that allowed a family member of mine to open up as well and we were both able to start the healing process we needed.
When you speak about it, its therapeutic sometimes you find that others have been through this horrific process and it’s comforting to know you’re not alone and someone else can relate to you.
When people come forward and it’s the SAME person that has done it to numerous people, it’s healing for the victims not for us! It lets them know they were not alone and nothing that THEY DID caused it to happen.
When a victim comes forward(voluntarily or otherwise) it’s OUR job to side with the victim NOT the attacker. We don’t need to try to pull a race card, dig up torrid details about the victim to try to discredit them. We need to support them. What if it happened to your mother;sister,grandmother(I speak it women but it could also happen to the men on your family as well)
When you post articles on social media that blame victims you’re sending a message to those in your inner circle who MAY be dealing with abuse that they have one less person to talk to because fear of judgment.
It’s 2016 it’s time to STOP blaming victims and really listen to them.