I seriously can’t believe how fast this pregnancy is going by. Granted I have a toddler to chase after this time so that makes the time speed up. I am currently 26 weeks but I made this video when I was 25 weeks and nothing has really changed in that weeks time. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for following along with my journey.
Yesterday May 14th was my due date for the baby I had lost in october. I am still grieving that loss even though I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby(Just like I still grieve the loss of my child I lost 10 yrs ago on what would be his/her due date each march)
The topic of grieving a child that you have never met seems to be so taboo and people don’t talk about it that often. It’s something that you just move on from, especially if you had an early miscarriage. However, the truth is that for many women the moment that see that pink line they become a mother. That line is filled with all kinds of hopes and dreams. “who will my child look like?” “what will their personality be?” “i can’t wait to meet them.” etc.
No matter when you loose that child a part of you always seems missing because you have dreams that you were dashed to pieces. Personally I find comfort in my faith I believe in a resurrection and I believe that I will see my children again some day. That doesn’t take about the grief I have now and how much I miss them.
I have had people tell me that they are happy I conceived so soon after my loss because I have a news baby to be excited about. That hurts so much because it insinuates that the baby I am carrying now will replace the one I lost and that is not true. I will always love and miss the baby I never was able to meet.
That being said, it seems cruel that I don’t have anything to remember my child by. You can imagine my excitment when I was scrolling through instagram one day and stumbled across a page called Rachelle Isims. This beautiful page was full of miscarriage jewelry and stories from mothers like me who were grieving and wanted something to remember their babies by.
I immediately went to visit Rachelle Isims Etsy shop and placed my order. I can not wait to see what my necklace looks like and I can’t wait to be able to talk about my babies that are here and who aren’t here when people ask me about my piece and what it means.
example of some of the work from Rachelle Isms shop
To all those who have lost a child I am sorry and know its ok to grieve and ok to talk about it. I am listening and so are your friends. You can still talk about your hopes and dreams and what that child means to you .
When you are expecting the one thing you need is maternity wear. It so hard to find cute, trendy, affordable clothes to dress your bump. Well look no further than PinkBlush Maternity They have some of the best maternity clothing. They also carry women’s wear so even if you are not expecting you can still check out the clothing. The company was gracious enough to send me three outfits It was very hard for me to narrow down which three outfits I wanted.
The company not only carries clothing but accessories(shoes, jewelry, bags etc) they also carry things for the baby as well. I fell in love with some of the accessories and purchased them myself.
I had such a blast putting these looks together. This is such a great maternity boutique and they have great maternity looks. Pink Blush Maternity also is giving away a $75 gift card to ONE of my lucky subscribers. Check out my video lookbook here to see how you can enter.
Today marks the first day of November and it was a needed change from the month that was October. I was ready for a new start.
I forgot that the time change was also happening and I didn’t remember how bad it was last year with a once year old until I saw this meme
I laughed AND cried when I saw this. It all came back like a ton of bricks. OMG our son can’t tell time and he will wake up when his natural clock goes off. Which IF it’s not bad, it would be an hour earlier than normal or it could be 2-4 hours earlier.
My husband and I went to bed not before giving each other the look as if to say: “well done today surviving parenthood”
Of course our son was up, BRIGHT EYES and all; ready to play. He didn’t give us the usual fuss over changing his diaper. He actually handed my husband all the supplies and laid down. Is this the twilight zone. We stare at each other with bags under our eyes and I greet the morning.
Today was a good day, dinner is now cooking and we have survived another day of parenthood. But or course we did it with Starbucks and a cake pop, I mean HOW ELSE can you survive a time change with a toddler?
My husband and I are so excited that our family is going to be growing. Of course one of the many questions will be: “how far along are you?” to be honest I want to keep that to myself. The reason being is because there is a stigma that comes with people announcing before the first trimester is up.
After you have had a miscarriage and dealt with three years of trying to conceive you realize that once you see the positive on the pregnancy test it’s hard to keep in that excitement. I will say that I am still in my first trimester and morning sickness is KICKING MY BOOTY lol.
Just like with raising a child there is more than one way to announce your pregnancy and that includes what timeframe you will do it in as well. Of course I pray that all goes well with my pregnancy however, if it doesn’t I want you guys to know why I would be grieving. I want my child to be real. Sharing with you my excitement makes it real to me.
I can’t wait to find out gender and of course see what baby looks like.