Addiction

I have been thinking about this word a lot lately. Growing up with an addict as a mother you tend to look at things very differently in life. I promised myself at a young age that I wouldn’t let any substance or thing have such control over my life that I couldn’t function if I didn’t have it.

That is part of the reason I don’t drink coffee everyday. I know that it’s probably a small thing in many people’s eyes. But when your mother goes to jail and misses out on your child hood because she not only sells drugs but is addicted to them, ANY substance that could render you incapacitated until you have it scares me.

Then I came to a harsh reality about myself, I am addicted to social media. I have hidden behind the excuse that it is the gateway to the outside world, The way I connect with people , especially since becoming a SAHM because I miss having adult contact. I am good with it when my son and I are outside of the home. I don’t check my phone when we are driving, I don’t  check it when we are at the park or doing activities. I also am good with not checking my phone when my family and I are having dinner inside the home or out.

But truth be told the phone is the first thing I  grab in the morning and the last thing I look at in the evening. It’s so bad that when my son wakes up before me he gives me my phone before he gives me my glasses! and I need my glasses to see. If a 1 1/2 yr old can see that mom needs her phone that much then it’s time to make a change.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE interacting with adults and finding things we have in common. Checking out the latest fashion trends even catching up with old friends. However, all those things will STILL be here if I take a break. It’s been a while since I have had a technology break. It’s good to have one every month but in all honesty it’s been over 6 months(maybe even longer)

I am visiting my family out-of-state next week and what better time than now to take a break from social media. I am not writing this to say that I am better than or that anyone else should do the same. I am writing this so that I can take accountability for my actions and help me realize that I am not going to miss anything. We live in a time where you don’t have to watch things live, you can tape them and see it later. The same can be true about things that go on in social media. I may miss the next blue dress phenomena(I wish I would have missed the original lol) but it will be ok.

I don’t want to become addicted to anything that harms my body physically and I don’t want to depend on something that can’t show me anything back emotionally.

So with that being said I am going to be gone for a little while. I know that you all will be here when I come back. I just need to take this time to “smell the roses” and live distraction free.

Much love to you all

Amber

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I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived – One Rebublic(I Lived)

One comment

  1. Patrice Buckner says:

    Good for you! I wish my two daughters, 24 and 26, would do the same. I too told myself when I was young that I would never depend on something that I lose control to, take control of me. My experience was seeing the neighborhood heroine addict on the street corner nodding out and drooling. My addiction is sugar, hard to give up and I am a diabetic. I am conscious about what I am doing and can cut back but taking that full commitment to give up totally, struggling. Praying every day, maybe not strong enough. But good for you! Enjoy your visit!! Patrice

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